Bittersweet Symphony
by thunderings
Summary: The hardest part is knowing she's irrevocably in love with you, and you can't love her back. Axel/Aerith


**Title:** Bittersweet Symphony

**Pairing**: Axel/Aerith. Zack/Aerith. Cloud/Aerith if you squint.

**Rating**: Pg-13

**Warnings: **Mild language. Angst. Cloud bashing. Slight OOC Axel.

**Summary:** The hardest part is knowing she's irrevocably in love with you, and you can't love her back. Axel/Aerith

**A/N**: I have no idea where this came from. Honestly, I was sitting at my computer when this idea suddenly popped into my head, and begged to be written. The characters seem a bit OOC, (but it's nothing major) while some events of the game, and the timeline, have been altered only slightly. One quote doesn't belong to me, and this hasn't been betaed.

* * *

You realize that it all began with pure, unadulterated boredom and agitation. Tired of Larxene's nagging, Demyx playing his sitar at all hours of the night, and Vexen's creepy laughter echoing from the basement, you just can't stand being stuck in this godforsaken castle any longer. So you conjure up an inky black portal and step through it without a backward glance, not really caring where it leads. Demyx once prattled on about a monochrome world with strange creatures, and Zexion (when he actually talked) said something about a land with tall trees, and people who spoke with odd accents. When you step out of the portal, you certainly aren't black and white and don't see any tall trees. Instead the sky is a mixture of orange and purple hues, that all probably have beautiful names, which don't have a place in your vocabulary. A castle stands tall in the distance; a lone edifice blanketed by a veil of fog. There's an eerie feeling about the place that even someone like _you_ notice.

"Oh dear, I can't believe the terrible condition of this place…" You're mildly surprised to hear someone in this dilapidated…_garden_? There's overgrown bushes and roses that have long since lost their ruby shades. It perhaps was once beautiful, but certainly has seen better days.

"My goodness, I didn't see you there!" You only now take notice of the young woman standing in the center of the garden, with a mild look of shock riddling across her face. She has long chestnut brown hair, and sparkling, playful emerald eyes that rival your own. You admit to yourself that if you were into the girly girl types, you'd probably be flirting right about now.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't make a formal announcement when I arrived," You say with more venom than intended. The girl looks offended for a fraction of a second, but brushes the comment off with a smile.

"I don't think we've ever met; I'm Aerith Gainsborough." She extends her hand in a pleasant manner, but you don't take it.

"Axel. Got it memorized? Now tell me, what exactly is this place?" You ask, folding your arms across your chest.

"Well, the name of this place is Hollow Bastion, and where we're standing used to be a garden. I'm hoping to restore it to its former glory."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"I love flowers, and gardening," The girl says simply, while carefully inspecting what appears to have once been a rosebush.

"I've never understood the fascination with flowers. Yeah, they look nice for awhile, but then they just die; all that hard work done for nothing," You tell her.

"Must you be so cynical? Really, the hard work _will _be backbreaking, but the reward of seeing this place beautiful again is payment enough."

"By all means, work your tail off for a hopeless cause," You chuckle lowly. The brunette shoots a scowl towards your direction, and turns her back to you.

"Give me a few months, and this place will be unrecognizable," Aerith counters.

"Bragging isn't very becoming, _flower girl,_" You say with a sneer, while summoning a portal. You've had your fill of this chick and her crazy obsession with _gardening. _

"_Aerith! _My name is _Aerith! _And I'd like it very much if you'd come back and see how I'm doing with this place," She smiles warmly, which oddly makes you really want to get out of here quick.

"I highly doubt I will flower girl!" You call after her as you step inside the ebony colored portal.

You could've sworn she stuck her tongue out at you in response.

-

Organization members start dropping like flies. You no longer have to endure Larxene's nagging, Vexen's chilling laugh, or even Marluxia's odd fixation with cherry blossoms. The castle is eerily quiet, save for the harmonious sound of Demyx's sitar playing, which you don't really mind nowadays.

Boredom kicks in again, and you're actually walking down the hall going to play cards with Luxord when another plan pops into your head. You've been toying with the idea of visiting Aerith again for awhile now, but have put it off for various reasons. Firstly, you don't wanna appear _too _eager to see how she and her garden are coming along. Secondly, you don't want anyone else to know about where you're going. Finding the opportune moment to escape is hard with other members breathing down your neck.

Until now.

So with a wave of your gloved hand, the portal is conjured up once more, and there you are standing in front of her. Aerith chuckles under her breath, and pulls a weed from out of the ground.

"I thought you said you weren't coming back." She looks back at you coyly, with her emerald eyes sparkling.

"I've been known to change my mind from time to time."

"Well, will you please enlighten me as to exactly _why _you've come back?" Aerith asks while pulling off her dirt covered gloves, and then takes a sip of water from a nearby jug.

"Simply put, I'm incredibly bored," You tell her, sitting down on a stone bench. She puts down the jug of water, pulls on her gloves, and turns to stares at you.

"You must be either really bored to subject yourself to watching me plant flowers. Or, perhaps you're just hopelessly attracted to me," She says with a smile.

"Sorry, not into the dating scene. My heart has…never been into that particular field." Aerith obviously doesn't catch the irony in your words, and instead looks confused.

"To put it bluntly, I don't have a heart," You further elaborate.

"I'm terribly sorry." By the way she's looking at the ground with watery eyes; it's obvious her words are true.

"I don't want your pity. Besides, not having a heart saves me the trouble of not experiencing _heartbreak. _Let me tell ya, I'm glad that I'm not one of those people who bitch and moan about being heartbroken." You tell Aerith, with an odd intensity that surprises even you.

"But you won't experience love, Axel. That's really sad…" Her tone and her demeanor shows she actually _cares _you don't have the ability to love. For whatever reason, that makes you uncomfortable.

"I like knowing that I'll never be like one of those lovesick saps you read about in books. Gives me a certain comfort…"

From the look on Aerith's face, she knows you're lying.

-

Days pass, and you only learn more about Aerith. She was driven from her home at a young age (which turns out to be Hollow Bastion) by the heartless, and only now has been able to return. After she's done giving you a rundown of her personal history, you ask her an odd assortment of questions.

"Favorite color?"

"Pink."

"Favorite flower?"

"Roses."

"Favorite pastime?"

"Gardening, which I thought was obvious! Now Axel, tell me why you're asking me all these weird questions," she giggles.

"Bored." It's a good, noncommittal answer.

"Ah, there goes the standard reply. Now you've asked me about myself, so it's time Axel that you told me a bit about yourself," Aerith says, watering an area where a garden of yellow tulips will be.

"Well, I'm single. I enjoy moonlit strolls on the beach, reading poetry, and I find dinner by candlelight _incredibly _romantic," you say quite seriously, causing Aerith to erupt into a fit of giggles. For a good three minutes she's rendered completely speechless, and you quite like knowing your comedic talents are enjoyed.

"I'm serious Axel! Tell me about yourself! You've been visiting me for about a week now, and I hardly know anything about you."

"There isn't anything really to tell."

"Well, what are your favorite activities? What do you like to do with your friends?" Aerith offers, focusing her attention on a bed of chrysanthemums.

"I don't have any. Everyone I know is either trying to take over the world, or enjoy inflicting pain on others; not exactly good friend material. There _is _this one guy that I just met-Roxas, who seems pretty normal." You haven't told anyone really about your budding friendship with the new organization member, however you feel fine telling Aerith about it.

It's strange, because you've never been comfortable telling people your personal business before.

-

Little green blades of grass (which Aerith tells you in fact are going to be tulips) sprout from the ground. She's ecstatic, and actually pulls you into a hug.

"Isn't it great? See, I told you I'd restore this garden to its former glory!" Aerith giggles, pulling away from your embrace and jumping up and down.

"Heh, well, lucky break," You smirk, acting all nonchalant when really you're happy for her.

You don't understand why you wanted the embrace to last longer, and it unnerves the hell out of you.

-

The first time you hear about Cloud, you instantly dislike him.

"Sounds like a sap, Aerith," You say, watching as she pulls out a weed from the little bed of tulip sprouts. Beads of perspiration riddle across her forehead, which you find sexy, in a very unsettling way.

"Cloud isn't a sap, Axel." Her defensive tone surprises you considerably.

"Oh? So someone who mopes around while searching for _another man_ isn't a sap? Actually, I quite agree; he sounds pretty gay." You counter, finding the rare 'go to hell' look gracing Aerith's face quite amusing.

"If everything you say is just going to be an insult or obscenity, than just leave."

"I will thanks. Maybe you should tell Cloud about your little garden, perhaps he'd like to pick some flowers for Sephirmorph or Sephiroth, or whatever the hell his name is." You conjure up a portal and leave quickly. Not before your temper gets the better of you, and the little tulip sprouts are ignited into flames.

-

You don't visit Aerith for a few weeks, which is mainly because you need to regain some of your ego, and the fact that you feel terrible about killing her plants. Images of her slaving over those flowers plague your mind, until even your once peaceful dreams are cursed with imagery of Aerith crying her eyes out.

So by the fifth week of not seeing her, you realize that this self induced punishment can't go on any longer. Before you leave, you get her a present-because girls seem to always forgive a guy if they have something to give them. Minutes later, you're staring into Aerith's jade eyes.

"Look…I-I'm sorry." You've never been one for apologies, and it's a miracle that you managed to stammer out one so early. The brunette merely shrugs, and sighs deeply.

"It doesn't matter now, because they've all grown back." Cue the awkward silence in three-two-

One.

"I got you a gift." You push a small, poorly wrapped box into her hands.

"Why?" She wrinkles her nose and rips off the wrapping paper, exposing a black cloth box.

"Don't chicks like it when they get presents?" You smirk, feeling the awkwardness between you two disintegrate.

"It's different for each-oh my..." she whispers, being struck speechless as she opens the box. There's a vibrant pink ribbon enclosed, almost identical to the one she wears now.

"I noticed that the one you're wearing is kinda dirty, and a bit frayed," You explain, watching as she only continues to stare at the ribbon.

"You don't like it." You should've known that she probably would've preferred a gardening rake or something...

"It's very pretty, Axel. Though, please understand that even though the ribbon I'm wearing _is _tattered and dirty, it has a lot of sentimental value." Aerith closes the box and smiles at you brightly.

"A guy got that ribbon for you, didn't he?" It's just a guess. A guess that's probably-

"Correct. A guy _did _get this ribbon for me." Suddenly her eyes sparkle like emerald flames, and she looks as if she's remembering a far off, hazy memory. You suddenly hate that you got her a gift, which has triggered some trip down memory lane for her.

-

You never regret anything you do, yet here you are, wishing that you hadn't asked Aerith if she had ever been in love. The question has been at the forefront of your mind since the ribbon incident.

"I think you better go, Axel," she whispers. _Tears _are actually starting to trail down her face, and she quickly turns away.

Her wish is your command, so you leave.

-

"His name was Zack, and we first met in Traverse Town. I knew the dangers of walking around the town, and the constant threat of being attacked by the heartless. However, I was sixteen and headstrong; needless to say, I was attacked. I thought for sure I'd lose my heart, but Zack came seemingly out of nowhere with his sword and slashed the heartless away. It happened very quickly, but I remember thinking how he seemed like my knight in shining armor," Aerith smiles wistfully, and plays with the hem of her pink dress. Both of you are sitting on the stone bench, as the brunette tells you what she couldn't before.

"We saw each other a few times, although it wasn't very serious. Zack was always saying how he'd vanquish all of the heartless, and become a hero in the process. When he finally got his hands on a gummi ship, he flew off with nothing but hopes and dreams. Needless to say, Zack didn't become a hero, and I haven't heard from him since." Aerith's tone is mixed: a little sad, angered, and even a bit nostalgic. You honestly don't know what to say, because her story has been downright sappy, and you've never been one to dish out sympathy. If you'd been with anyone other than Aerith you probably would've made at least a dozen sarcastic remarks right about now.

But you haven't.

"I'm sorry." It's a good, solid reply that conveys just enough meaning to make the brunette smile.

"It's kinda funny actually; you remind me of Zack. Both of you have similar personalities; even though he didn't have flaming red hair, the hairstyles are nearly the same…" Aerith's eyes look you over, and she smiles brightly.

"Well, I'm not the reincarnation of your old flame, alright flower girl?" Although in the back of your mind, something screams that you _very well could be;_ you're a nobody, and was once wholly says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches a dazzling display of shooting stars.

"Shooting stars are not stars at all. They're just stars that enter the atmosphere and catch fire under friction. What we wish on when we see one is only a trail of debris," she says wistfully.

"Must you be so cynical?" Your nostalgic reply sends Aerith into a fit of giggles. When she's finally finished, Aerith looks at you with her emerald green eyes, which look as if they've been ignited with green flames. The look is so instance that it makes the sky, no matter how expansive it is, feel suddenly very small and claustrophobic. It takes a few moments for you to register just precisely what that look means, and after a few quick calculations it looks exactly like:

_Love. _

Oh dear.

"I better be going," You mumble, standing up quickly from the bench and summoning a portal. All of this began because of boredom, how did it spiral into a game of romantic intrigue? You want to get out of here as soon as you can, but Aerith grabs your arm which prevents you from escaping this ordeal.

"Will you come back?" She asks; her tone and expression full of hope.

"You know I will." After this stunning revelation, you're not so sure…

"Alright…just don't forget," Aerith whispers, as she lets go of your arm.

And then you're back at the castle, where the smell of roses and sounds of buzzing bees can't find you.

-

You've faced fearsome heartless, witches, sadistic females, schemers, and traitors, yet here you are, nervous about seeing a _flower girl._ It's reasonable though, because you've just realized she probably fancies you. Knowing she likes you and you don't like her is honestly very unsettling. Not that you would want to, _of course. _Girly girls aren't your type _at all. _

So you just keep repeating that to yourself, and only stop the mantra when you're in the garden. It's only been two days since your last visit, and already there are numerous additions to the garden. You spot a newly sprouted patch of daisy's and roses, and everything else that's new cannot be named. Your knowledge of flower names doesn't go very far, sadly.

After a few minutes of just standing there and taking in the garden's beauty, you realize that Aerith isn't there and someone (a stranger) is. He has spiky, gravity defying golden hair, (although your not one to talk) has a huge sword, and obviously a penchant for leather. Just when you start to contemplate why everyone has recently begun to use oversized weapons; the blond stands from a stone bench, and glares at you for no reason.

"You're Axel," He states simply, not really asking if that's your name.

"And I _think _you're Cloud, am I right?" It all fits into place now; you've never liked the man from Aerith's stories, and this guy downright irritates the hell out of you; so you put two and two together and realize that _this _is Cloud Strife.

"Yes. In all honesty I'd like to skip the formalities and get straight to the point. Aerith's told me a lot about you, and truthfully I don't like what I hear. I know about this organization you're in, and frankly I don't want you around Aerith any longer," Cloud says gruffly, staring you down with his oceanic blue eyes. For a fraction of a second you're pretty stunned, because there was no way you were expecting that one. However, shock is easily replaced with irritation.

"In all honesty, I'd like to tell you to go to hell. Aerith's told me a lot about _you _too, and truthfully I don't like what I hear. I know that you're in search of this guy named…Sephiroth? I thought you looked rather on the _feminine _side with your obvious liking of hair products, but you've certainly out gayed yourself by searching for another man." A triumphant smirk graces your lips as Cloud looks like he's two seconds away from picking up his sword to slash you, but he swiftly regains his cool composure.

"Don't go near Aerith. I've already told her to stay away from you, and I think you better do the same if you know what's good for you."

"Whatever pal, run along in search of your man," You counter, escaping into a portal before Cloud can respond.

-

Yeah right you're going to heed the blonde's warning. Actually you want to see Aerith more than ever now, just to annoy Cloud. Nevertheless, finding a spare moment to visit her is at the moment very hard, what with a certain dark haired kid with a key wrecking havoc on the organization. You find yourself partaking in more battles, and even a bit of kidnapping, (which you know Aerith would scold you for) mixed with a lot of lying and things you'd rather choose to forget.

It's right after you kidnap a princess and start walking around the castle when you feel an odd feeling, like this'll be the _last _time you'll see this place. The eerie feeling can't be shaken off, and now you know it's time to visit Aerith.

-

Nighttime has descended on Hollow Bastion; the silvery moonlight illuminates the flowers around you, while the sky looks like an ocean of twinkling stars. You're staring up at the sky in complete bewilderment like a kid, and don't notice Aerith rush up from behind.

"Axel! I just knew you'd come!" She cries, putting her arms around your waist. If this had been at any other time, you would've broken away from her grasp; however now you let her, because that eerie feeling that this is the end hasn't worn off.

"I don't take orders from anyone, especially _not _from guys that go around looking for other guys." Aerith only remains silent, and grips on tighter to your black leather coat. An awkward silence ensues, broken only by the sounds of a cricket's chirping, and other nighttime sounds.

"A-Axel, I need to tell you something," she whispers gently, with her chestnut hair blowing in the breeze. Aerith isn't wearing her ribbon tonight, and that little fact unnerves you.

"Don't say anything you don't really mean." It's meant to sound like a warning, but comes out of your mouth quite shaky and nervous.

"I love you, Axel." Aerith breaks away from the embrace and looks up at you adoringly with her emerald orbs.

This is the part you've been dreading, the part that was almost promised as soon as you met her. She was pretty much destined to fall for you from the get go; (because girls always fall for the strange, bad boy types) which you tried to tell yourself wouldn't happen. The hardest part is knowing she's irrevocably in love with you, and you can't love her back. Actually, you're not so sure she actually _does; _it appears like she still has a thing for that guy named Zack. Perhaps all you are is just a replacement for a first love that didn't end nicely. There are two options: one, tell Aerith that you don't love her and break the poor girl's heart. Two: pretend you really do care for her.

Time is up and it's time to choose. In the end you decide that for once in your very short life, you'd like to be:

_The good guy. _

You take her by the waist, and decide to ease into this romantically. She looks a bit startled at first, but closes her eyes and smiles when a kiss is planted on her pink lips. Somewhere in the back of your mind you think Aerith is probably imagining Zack, but it doesn't really matter now. You figure this will be one of your last big performances before the big finale, so it's better to end everything on a high note.

"Come tomorrow early in the morning, Axel. I planted these flowers called Morning Glories, and every morning they bloom right on the dot. Y-you'd probably like it." Aerith sighs, as she leans her head on your chest.

"That sounds really nice Aerith. I'll make sure to come extra early," One last light kiss on the forehead makes her smile bigger than you've ever seen. As she slowly walks out of the garden, and a portal is conjured, you make sure to get one last good look at her. You've actually (admittedly) enjoyed the time you shared with the flower girl.

And it all began with unadulterated boredom.

-

The sun begins its fiery ascension, signaling that a new day has begun. Aerith Gainsborough sits on the ground, watering the last of the Morning Glories as she hums a lively tune. In just a few minutes the blue flowers will bloom all by themselves, as if under a magic spell. Axel is late, but that was only to be expected. As she waters the very last azure hued flower, Aerith feels something inside that alarms her. Someone has gone back to the planet, and it doesn't take very long to deduct who the person is.

Her eyes water immediately, while sobs escape her pink tinted lips. It's hard to believe that yet another one of her loves is gone; a cruel irony indeed. Perhaps she only did like Axel because he reminded her of Zack, but she doesn't know for sure. What matters is that she misses him more than anything, and wishes that he were here right now.

The golden sun is now in place, and the Morning Glories begin to bloom one by one.

* * *

**A/N: **I've worked on this for months now, and while there are some parts that seem a bit off to me, I think it turned out alright. Critiques, questions, and comments are welcome. Please leave a contribution in the little box? :D


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